The Journey Home

Had I failed to plan and prepare for life post-incarceration, I would not be on the road to success now. Throughout the course of my 4 ½ year incarceration, not only did I work on my own issues, I asked for help from my church family, who stuck by my side and bolstered me in preparing for my homecoming. Nonetheless, when I returned home November 5th, 2009, even with all the support, my homecoming was not easy. At nearly every turn I ran into a stone wall.

Were it not for the support I was given, when I arrived at the Greyhound Bus station, it would have been empty and I would have walked into a ghost town. I have no biological family in Tucson, Arizona. My extended church family welcomed me back to the city. One family in particular accepted me into their home. If it wasn’t for those who’ve become my family, I would be like many others reentering the community from prison unprepared. I would be lost out on the streets. Even more, I basically would not have been eligible for early release; and would still be sitting in prison. Candidly, I simply could not pay the mandatory fees for acceptance into any prison approved halfway house. Due to a history of violent crimes I committed over 30 years ago, I don’t qualify for government funded transitional living programs either.

In reestablishing myself as a legitimate member of the community, my first order of business was to obtain my state ID. After being away so long, I didn’t know one cannot qualify for any government help without identification (this includes a state ID card, a social security card, and a birth certificate). Even if a person has the rest of his credentials, he can’t apply for employment unless he has a birth certificate to prove U.S. citizenship. If one has to send out of town for a birth certificate as I had to do, it could take from two to four weeks before he receives it. Without all these papers in order, the situation leaves a person in a state of indefinite financial limbo.

My experience is further complicated because I have a drug offence. I was initially told by my DES case manager that I don’t qualify for food stamps. Because I don’t have a birth certificate, I don’t qualify for medical assistance either. I submitted the paper work for food stamps and health assistance anyway. Fortunately, two weeks later I received my approval for both those requests from the DES office by mail.

None of the agency employee’s I encountered offered me assistance in finding help to pay for securing a copy of my birth certificate. The truth is they offered me no help for anything else I needed either. Nonetheless, I kept moving forward. Again, were it not for the faith based community that reached out to support me, I don’t know what I would have done. Before finally finding support for obtaining my birth certificate, I had visited different agencies. The mission of those agencies is to serve the needy. At all of them I felt I was greeted with rejection and insensitivity to my human condition. One of the persons I spoke with called herself a “bubble popper.” This person said she did not mean to hurt anyone’s feelings. She just likes to “keep it real,” by telling you “straight up how things are.” If you need a helping hand, the way things are don’t amount to a hill of beans when there is hardly a hand being extended.

For the most part the folks I have met at these agencies treated me as if there were some sort of incentive in it for them to discourage me from wanting their services. This is where I flat out refused to accept no for an answer. In most cases I literally had to pry useful information out of these people. Each day I am learning more and more. When faced with such adversity, one must constantly remind himself that Christ’s likeness and manhood are one and the same. To maintain my focus and a remnant of sanity, I usually meet with my church Pastor once weekly to discuss how I’m coping with these challenges. I also regularly attend community recovery groups. Until my birth certificate arrives, I make good use of my time, by taking daily trips to the Pima County One Stop Career Center. At the center I undertake my work search project. I also use any time I have available to network and set up meetings with people of interest for my “Tucson Reentry Network” (TRN)…

The Tucson Reentry Network will be a community based, faith based, nonprofit organization that will assist incarcerated individuals, offenders, and ex-offenders. This assistance is structured through paradigms and dynamics offered by today’s Christian Men’s Movement who couple them with sound reason. TRN’s reentry services will help ex-offenders overcome difficulties faced nine months to a year before their release. Services are also offered post release, upon returning home to family and community. Our goal is to help ex-offenders achieve a successful reentry, and work with them toward success for life as long as they are actively participating in the process. Participants must take full responsibility for their reentry into the community; and TRN will be there to help them with that. In this service I am finding huge success, and with each new day new developments are unfolding toward the realization of this vision. So much has happened in this short period that it’s hard for me to keep up with it all.

Life now is no walk in the park, mind you, and I’m learning that if one is not watchful of his steps, anxiety will take its toll. Every single day I’m reminded of how it could be when I look into the faces of people on the streets. Many of the people I meet on my journey were in prison with me. While I was in the preparation stage for reentry into the community, I encouraged those with me to do likewise. But most of these people were busy just doing time. Now, I see them strung out again either and panhandling or asking me for another fix. I find this situation to be heartbreaking. Their reality only compels me to push myself that much harder. I realize pushing myself hard is not healthy either. So, now I’m learning to pace myself, relax, and allow patience to perform its perfect work. I must trust in the Lord with all of my heart (while carrying out the task I believe He has given me) and lean not on my own understanding. In all my ways I must acknowledge Him, and He will make my paths straight.

With this faith I move forward: “God is able, and He won’t fail, I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength,” for this I’m thankful.
Ivan A. Owens
Revised
November 28, 2009